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Monday, March 06, 2006

Reflections about the weekend

I usually look forward to the weekends with hope that I would get to sleep in, spend time with my girlfriend and get some well needed rest. But last weekend I didn't get any of that. But I dug deep and found enough in me to last the rest of the weekend on little sleep. Friday I spent most of the night looking over old video footage I've recorded of old Eskapo shows mainly from Gilman, Balazo and the Legendary Bindlestiff Studio. I was at Max and Angelica's place along with Loi, Arnol, Luke, Anna Sophie and Rupert looking through countless photos of Bruce and the rest of the guys mostly taken by Lian and Angelica. I was sifting through DV tapes looking for footage of Bruce to capture stills to make for a slideshow that Angelica was putting together in memory of Bruce. It was surreal, because it felt like Bruce wasn't gone, but he was. I didn't sleep till 3am. We all stayed up late.

I woke up early and picked up Kuya Phil, Kit and Rich and we made it early to the church where the funeral services were held. All of our photo collages were up, Angelica had the slide show set up and it played throughout the whole procession. It was interesting seeing pictures of Bruce in all aspects of his life. His life in the scene, his life as a airsoft/sniper player, and lastly his life at home. Smiling, having fun, spending time with his family. That's a side, I never saw. As for his family, they knew of his life outside, but they've never seen it. Vice versa for the airsoft folks.

All of VxHxC was there, including all the guys from Eskapo/Delubyo/Wounds/Echo of Bullets, Static Thought, Have-nots, La Plebe, Sputterdoll, Secret Janet/Down the Ship. Folks from the hardcore scene, Markus and Yapple. Jesse, Dawn and Alex also came. Even Javier was there. They had a big picture of Bruce (see previous post), his jacket and his guitar at the front near the altar. The minister spoke of Bruce beautifully and in lights I've never seen him. The whole time I was balling like a baby. I tried to hold it in at first but I couldn't help it. At one point of the procession, in tribute to Bruce, Manila Sunrise was played along with the photos in the slideshow. Rupert was nervous. I told him to relax. That this is your tribute, Eskapo's tribute and our tribute to him. His family would want to hear and see what he made. It was beautiful. Picture of Bruce from various shows, laughing and talking with friends, playing pusoy dos and quarters with the guys, airsoft pics. A couple of the pics I took made the cut. I was most proud of the one I took with Bruce jumping in the air with his guitar with lights flashing... The whole time I was crying every time the picture with Loi and Bruce came up with the phallic balloon it made me laugh. Then during the eulogy people from all walks of life spoke about him. Some stories were funny... Some were sad. Two struck me very hard... An old classmate of Bruce who he has recently re-connected with spoke about their friendship, them getting out of touch and when they met again after nearly 6 years, she was pregnant. When the baby was born, Bruce wanted her to describe her giving birth because he knew he would never experience that. She flew out the day after Bruce died, not knowing he already passed. But it was too late. Still she came and described it. That made me tremendously sad. In Bruce's short life, he's touched so many peoples lives and it was evident at the ceremony. There wasn't enough room in the Church! He's managed to accomplish so much in such a short time. He was brave, never gave up, and never complained about anything.

The other story was one of his family members talking about him. And then he spoke to us, saying we should never wait to get together for funerals. To take time to spend time with your family and friends. To those who are closest to you. Because our lives our short and precious. It's cliche but very true. I tend to forget, neglect others and go for long lengths without talking to old friends. Ironically, the whole weekend was about re-establishing relationships. At the reception, we all hung out. I haven't seen Rio and Bern of Sputterdoll for a while and I promised that I'd go to a show and help out. We all talked and caught up while remembering Bruce. Rich, my friend who moved to Vegas was also in for the funeral spoke to me and it was like old times. He would always go to shows with me and later thanked me for opening all this up to him, cause he wouldn't be into this if weren't for me. I told him that everything here, the people, the friendships, the music were all good things and that I couldn't keep a good thing to myself.

Afterwards the party continued to Max and Angelicas.... where lots of smoking, drinking and pusoy dos playing was done in Bruce's honor. They had a little shrine set up with his guitar and pics set up. I jammed with Phil, Jesse and Alex and later with Shiloh. It was good times. There's talk of doing a show in his honor... In Vallejo. Loi and I decided to start planning for it and also start our record label... Machete Thrash/Balisong Records.

Then I had to drop everyone off and head home cause I had to go pseudo-bachelor party for my friend Mike with the old high school crew. I haven't seen seen most of them except for Rich V. and Chris since the last wedding. It was good seeing everyone again and I thought about what Bruce's family member said, don't wait to spend time with you're friends and family. From then on, I'm gonna manage my time better to spend time with everyone. I got home Sunday morning and slept in. In the afternoon, I went out with Chris to look for a present for his mom. We stopped by Rasputins and I picked up the Death Angel box set and a 7 Seconds CD. We had lunch at Tortilla Grill and had Mexican food while talking about life, comics and our own comic. That we should get crankin' cause we're not gonna make the deadline for APECON. Chris agreed. After further discussion, he dropped me off and I spent some time with my parents. Talked about the weekend, watch a bit of the Oscars. Then Rob and Jos picked me up to have dinner and drop off Rich at the airport. Again it was like old times. I've known Rob the longest and we've been best friends since we were 5. Lately, I feel like I haven't been a good friend and I feel like an ass about it. I want to be around people that mean the most to me and I feel I've strayed off. So I decided to join up fantasy baseball with him, and asked him to help me put my next computer and work on the BMW with me. We're planning to drive with Rich back to Vegas after he comes back late March. Good times, with good friends and family. After a long weekend I finally slept... Laying in bed I thought about everything I've done this weekend and came to this conclusion. Treasure your life. Live the way you want to live it, but do it smartly. Treasure your family. Treasure your friends, especially those closest to you. Don't take these treasures for granted, because they are the most meaningful whether your life is long or short.

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