burnout, fountain, massive spendings and xmas

No more shows... man I'm burnt. I'm going to fill in my obligations then just lay low. I have 2 shows in Dec, both are short bills and haven't even been advertised yet. Unfortunately, the last show takes place in Feb. ::sigh:: Caving in to pressure, being victim of politics, or being caught in a bind... it just takes the fun out of it for me. Maybe I should just go back to being a spectator... Trying to put on shows is a lot of fun. And in the end, its always satisfying. But it always takes a part of me, as if I'm shortening my life everytime. I guess I just tend to worry too much and over react. My times cut short, my money's being blown... Plus all the added stress. I KNOW for a fact that I can't do it alone. But without the resources, support and much needed manpower, it just isn't possible. It makes me think sometimes that it not worth it. I do it for the love of the music. But I'm starting to think that love can only take you so far, at least in this capacity. They say if you love something, set it free... (I think this is a Sting song??) And I feel I'm really close to doing that...

I don't even know if BR Project is going to take off.... I'm not getting any support for that either. I just want to make some damn '45s!!!

Other than that... I plan on going crabbing this weekend in Crescent City... yes the place that just had a tsunami. The crabbing is excellent there. The best pier crabbing that is. Going with Kristi and possibly her parentals. This should be fun! Last time we went we caught A LOT of crab within the 3 days we were there. I can't wait. I'm gonna try to catch some lingcod too.

Also on the plus side, I've paid off all my cc bills. On the down, I still got 5+ yrs on the car and I'm a long way from buying a home. One of my self imposed goals. I still think at most I'm a year away to achieving that goal.

To end my Thanksgiving weekend vacation I did not want to end, I went to go see The Fountain with my buds Chris and Len. It was a nice story with a good ending. A little confusing with 3 inter related stories. Very visual, as all Darren Aronofsky's films are.

I've also gone on a shopping spree. And I haven't even finished my xmas shopping. I picked up the Riverdales 1st album re-issue on Asian Man Records. I love the Ramones and Ramones-style music. Also picked up a used El Dopa CD at Amoeba's. They're playing one of the Gilman 20th Anniversary Shows and I wanted to listen. East Bay Hardcore at its finest. At Rasputins in the V, while posting some gilman flyers i picked up the new Evens and 2G's album. In the span of 3 days over the break, at Best Buy I picked up Arrested Development 1-3, Scrubs Season 4, Simpsons Season 8 (1st app. of Duffman... oh yeah!!!!), Rome Season 1, Guitar Hero 2, 2 2g flash drives, FF3-5 for my 'new' DS. PS2 games Bully, Okami and FFXII... and also King Dork by Dr. Frank... yikes!

next up... XMAS shopping and XMAS stuff